A favorite pastime in the Mandopop world is playing the Jay vs. Leehom game. You know, who’s better, more talented, a better performer, a better composer, has a better personality, etc. Opinions vary widely, and debates are often fraught with emotion. It’s all a little silly, actually, because as Leehom noted recently, just because you buy Jay’s album, that doesn’t mean you can’t also buy his (as I have done two of the last three years). And really in the end there’s no accounting for personal taste. So that said… let’s compare them anyway.
While promoting the Taipei concerts that will kick off a new world tour, Leehom was asked recently about Cowboy Jay’s new “batmobile” (i.e. a million-plus dollar Mercedes-Benz that apparently can’t be driven many places in Taiwan… but I’m sorry, a silver car with doors that open vertically? Who else’s mind immediately jumps to “Marty McFly,” not “Batman?”). The question was whether this new car made said cowboy the natural rival of his own “Music-Man,” and Leehom answered that actually, he and Jay are on the same side; they are both fighting against shared enemies, pirated CDs and DVDs. When pushed to name a person as an enemy, he evasively answered, “People who make bad or low-quality music, then.” (Just pause for a minute and think of all the catty things I could say here, then admire my saint-like restraint.)
But this question, and a very insightful comment the other day from Ling, raises an important point worth exploring further, namely, Cowboy vs. Superhero: who wins?
There are really two different, yet equally important lines of inquiry here: first is the issue of wardrobe, or as Ling so aptly put it, who looks the least silly in his promotional photos. The second issue is more fundamental: who wins in a fight, Leehom “Music-Man, but my name ain’t Harold” Wang, or Cowboy Jay “I’m really very busy” Chou? Let’s get into it. [Disclaimer: no I don't expect them to actually fight. They are both talented artists who have expressed a great deal of respect and admiration for one another... blah, blah, blah... can we have fun now?]
Now, I don’t blame Leehom for idolizing superheroes in his youth or for admitting to having had the Superhero Underoos, largely because I spent considerable time in the early 1980s running around my neighborhood in a leotard and moon boots pretending to be Wonder Woman. The questionable factor is the outfit circa 2008: you can tell they went for edgy and modern, which apparently translates to black leather and blue hair. He says they are trying to evoke a futuristic feeling, though he does this while standing in front of the poster looking like he’s on his way to an 80s revival party:
Okay, what about this look (the one on the poster, not the personal tribute to Wham!) says “superhero” and not “biker dude”? Maybe he’ll have a nifty heroic emblem stitched across his front (all the great ones do, you know). Beyond that, you have to wonder just how this look translates to staging a concert. Is there any possible way for him to act out some sort of superhero drama on stage that doesn’t ultimately and rather tragically detract from the music? I know from personal experience that Leehom is too good live to need gimmicks, and this is a pretty big one.
On the other hand, though the outfit so far might be somewhat unconvincing, and his hair both too long and inexplicably blue, does he actually look silly? As in cowboy silly? I mean, look:
Then remember the Cowboy in action. The chaps, the cravats… at various intervals, the excessive fringe. Now that’s silly. You might argue it is intentionally silly, but very silly nonetheless. And this was no fleeting concert ploy; Jay’s cowboy phase will live on for posterity in the form of his album cover and the Howdy-Doodyesque opening track, “Cowboys are Busy.” He’ll be Cowboy Jay forever, whereas the Music-Man thing will fade from Leehom memories after this latest world tour.
Now as important as the wardrobe is to these gimmicks, there remains the question… who takes whom in a fight? It is common knowledge that ninjas and pirates beat cowboys, but what about superheroes? Especially superheroes whose special secret superpower is music and whose coolest special secret superhero gadget is a guitar, albeit a guitar named “Bahamut” for a dragon in the Final Fantasy video game. (Yes, of course I had to look that up. Just how much free time do you think I have?) At the same time, though, Leehom is spending the next month in the gym to improve the “superhero” quality of his physique, including well-defined abs (something he has displayed before – and can I just tell you how much I love the fact that you can search “sweaty shirtless boxing” on YouTube and get this video – but then voluntarily abandoned it to look like a guy surviving the rice shortage in World War II). Hmm, maybe I really approve of this whole Superhero thing after all.
In the other corner, you have Cowboy Jay. If we are to put stock in his lyrics, then we know him to be a milk-drinking, donkey-riding, pleather-wearing, bubble-bath-taking pacifist. In other words, he sounds like a real pushover. And like he’s not a lot of fun. On the other hand, the Russian-style dancing in the video for “Cowboys are busy” takes very strong thigh muscles. If provoked enough, this cowboy wouldn’t discharge his six-shooter, but he just might go into a frenzied dance right in front of you that is equally life-threatening. Or maybe he’ll throw his milkshake at you. What does milk do to superhero leather?
So adding up these elements, you really have to consider who looks better in costume, and weigh that alongside personal qualities and assorted props. Then put them both in a ring and sound the bell.
Definitely the superhero. Unless milk were Music Man’s Kryptonite (lactose intolerance in Asians… perhaps!), Cowboy Jay’s got nothing on Music Man.
And you’re right, Leehom wearing that really odd outfit standing in front of his ‘bad-ass’ poster is ridiculous.
Well, you know where I stand on the costumes. But as far as who would win the fight, I’ve got to go with the third answer. There is a force stronger, more durable, longer lasting and more able to possibly choke someone under the right circumstances than either Music Man or the Cowboy. That, of course, would be Pants Man and his feared Suspenders of Death. Or at least of voluntary self-blindfolding, which would be a severe detriment to any opponent’s ability to defeat this legendary superhero. And, as neither of his opponents is likely to try to kiss Pants Man, he will remain unscathed from the only force that can destroy him.
nop
i think that mayday wins my vote. that photoshop thingy they did with movie posters was hilarious…
ashin potter will use his wand, stone will use his axe and kung fu, masa sparrow will use his one bullet in the gun shot, monster-titch will use his… teeth biting and “ohana” skills and superguanyo will use his superhero powers
…. combine them all together and I guess they shall defeat jay and leehom.
yes. im definitely dying of ideas if i use this for my creative writing english story
LOL, Yuka – I didn’t think of milk as being that kind of weapon!
Hmm, two votes for Mayday already? I should have given them a spot on the poll… maybe I should make that a policy from now on: always include a Mayday option.
But I have to say, Steve, I see “Pants Man” and his “Suspenders of Death” (heh… love it) as more of a villain – a persistent, pernicious villain who can only be stopped through the combined forces of Music-Man and Cowboy Jay. It has all the makings of a summer blockbuster, I think.
As for costuming, in spite of all my attempts to stack the deck the other way – and my writing on this score is not subtle – many persist in finding the cowboy look very attractive on Jay. Well, they have the courage of their convictions, and I can’t help but respect that.
Something about Music Man’s Elvis hairstyle makes me think that he’s afraid to get his hair messy, and Cowboy Jay’s donkey might get too upset over all that leather his rider doesn’t wear and trample the superhero.
I don’t think the donkey will mind that it’s rider is a bubble bath-loving pacifist. He could start a “Down with Leather” movement against Elvis-impersonating superheroes!
The awesome thing about Cowboy Jay is that he can also travel 20 years into the past and beat up on Music Man when he was little. He can also use kung fu and nunchucks when provoked. Part of me would really like to see Cowboy Jay use his slingshot on Music Man, but the idea of the two of them going against Pants Man’s “Suspenders of Death” sounds better, or perhaps Stretchy Woman, who can bend into many awkward poses but not necessarily sing. I believe Cowboy Jay has proven himself vulnerable to this nemesis in the past.
Leehom looks ridiculous in that stupid t-shirt and something is funny about his jeans… I mean, they don’t have suspenders but at that angle something still looks wrong, and it can’t be the waist which actually appears to be in a reasonable place instead of up too high.
what’s that around Leehom’s neck? Is that Music Man’s secret weapon?
okay, so I just saw that Kenji Wu is having a concert tour as well called Magik…
and then I saw the promo pic… http://blog.sina.com.cn/kenjiwu
so, what’s with all the blue hair!?
(although, Kenji doen’t look as heavily “armed” as Leehom… still, I’m trying to figure how the sleeve thingy on his right arm works O.O)
sorry, I mean left arm… XP
LOL, Ling, which would make a better weapon: Jay’s lasso or LeeHom’s tie?
Whoa, Kenji’s outfit is crazy! I think he has some kind of glove without fingers on, and his sleeves are just very shiny. I don’t think we’ll see Jay with blue hair anytime soon, at least not after he switched from Pepsi to Sprite. However, if we want to see who’s blue hair is the coolest, here’s Jay with blue hair:
http://i285.photobucket.com/albums/ll79/hobielover/Jay-Chou-Wallpaper-Pepsi-10-800×600.jpg
I don’t think the peach fuzz matches, and definitely not the armpit hair, Jay!
OK, I thought this was over, but here’s Jay’s answer to the question: “Music-Man, because he can use music to scare away the bad guys!”
http://enjoy.eastday.com/e/20080903/u1a3847048.html
Of course, Zhou Dong isn’t answering the question seriously, but it seems that neither he nor LeeHom really wants to fight over who’s the best superhero.
Hilarious post.
I loved reading it.